My Love

I got a little lost, for that I apologize

I found my way back and am more wise

Never did I think our love would falter

Here we are now running to the alter

I wish we didn’t lose our time but the truth is we did

For you, I’ll make this promise, kid

I’ll love you forever and this will never change

Hand and hand we will conquer anything in our way

Never will I stop fighting for you

Because never did you stop fighting for me

 

 

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Storm Cloud

A distinct disconnect between the lightening and the cloud

Thunder echoes through the dark hills

Static stings in the air

A night so hot and humid

Stars hide behind a gray blanket

Pretending they don’t exist

The only thing that seems real to me

Is the fantasy of love’s kiss

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Fork In The Road

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I haven’t sat down and written like this in awhile… but I’ve been defeated by words.

I don’t know how to truly define how I’ve been feeling or pinpoint what has been making me feel this way.

I’m not feeling lost… more like I’m still wandering my path.

Just when I thought I was reaching my destination, I came to a fork in the road. Not only does this fork throw my compass off track, but it gives me something this long insipid path has been lacking.

It sparks intrigue, curiosity, and a sense of wonderment that I haven’t felt in years. Its magnetic pull is drawing me in.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am connected to the path, not just drifting on it.

Now I’m forced to choose… left…. or right…

I’ve never been one to follow every single rule given to me. I’ve never been one to do exactly as told.

I can keep traveling the same path that I’ve accepted or I can veer left and see where the mystery path takes me.

Funny, I seem to have misplaced my map.

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Biggest Disappointment

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Clouded judgement fogs his lungs

Desolate thoughts dissolve on his tongue

Hands shaking with temptation

He reaches for another

Just one little puff and the world won’t spin

His  now forgotten anger dwells deep within

For just a moment, he feels less deflated

Letting go of everything, no longer frustrated

Holding the key to his future’s downfall

Graffiti scrawled across the wall

 F

     A

        I 

             L

                 U

                    R

                        E

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Life is short, time is sweet

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A few years ago I was faced with the harsh reality about life; mortality is real and we never know when our time is up nor the people around us. It seemed so unreal that someone so young could be taken from us without any warning.

I struggled believing that it had happened, that she was really gone, and that her family will never see her again; if only in their dreams. There was a phase that I questioned her existence, was she real? Had we really spoken? Was her smile really as bright as it is in my memory?

Finally, I hit the point of acceptance. This is in fact true, she was here one minute, gone the next. So many questions! How? Why? What can I do? How can this be? Years later, I still wonder. I can’t quite grasp the concept.

I started viewing life in the most depressing way; “Life is like a full parking lot, you pull out of your spot and there is always someone waiting, waiting to swoop in and take it. When you pull away it’s as though you were never there.”

Not before long I started living life as though I only had today. “I want to go to Hawaii.” Woo hoo! Booked a trip for a week later.

This way of living has been fun, but my point of view has yet again changed, “If I keep living like there’s no tomorrow, I won’t have anything saved for my days after tomorrow.”

From what I have found, there is an equal balance that we can all enjoy. We do need to understand that our time here on Earth is short and it is up to us whether it will be sweet. We need to spend our time with the ones we love most doing what we love the most. Even though tomorrow isn’t promised today, it may still come. In fact, for most of us it will come. We do need to look past tomorrow and save for our future.

A few things I have graciously been taught by the loss:

  • Smile. Smile as often as possible. My flashbacks of her are always so bright because she smiled all the time.
  • Love. Her love radiated and there was always a glow around her.
  • Laugh. Laughter does wonders for the soul.
  • Live life goofy. Never be afraid that someone else will think your dance moves are dorky, that your jokes are corny, or that being silly is childish.
  • Preserve your youth. Working with children has given me the advantage to this, I get to experience jokes, places, and games as though they are new to me. Never say, “Oh, I’ve heard that joke before,” to a child. Try smiling and laughing, throw another joke their way. This will allow you to quickly relive your childhood.
  • Never, ever, ever, ever allow a Negative Nancy to bring you down. There’s something that bothers them, it’s your happiness. Stay clear of these people.

I never had the chance to get to know her beyond our circumstances, and I deeply regret this. I have missed out on a wonderful person. Those that knew her well consider themselves lucky, and I agree.

Don’t let time come between yourself and a potential friend. Take control of time, don’t let it control you.

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Your destiny is on your shoulders

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ―Theodore Roosevelt

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We need to break free from the walls of blame we have built around us. We are each responsible for our own actions, our own “destiny,” and our own future. Fate, destiny, karma, whatever word we choose to describe it, is in our own hands. Life accomplishments do not just happen, they are made to happen.

Society has created a place where we can hide and blame others for our mistakes. Teachers blame the parents, parents blame the media, the media blames Republicans, and the mailman blames the dog.

The “Blame Game” is an easy game to play when there are so many players.

I hear excuses daily, excuses that take all the blame and dump it on someone else’s lap.

Sitting on the couch, blaming others for our own problems will not solve anything. When we want to succeed, we need to take blame out of our thoughts. It is no one’s fault but our own if we fail.

Silly lawsuits are perfect examples of this:

“I’m fat because McDonalds serves me fatty-fried foods. I’m suing”

“While prowling on your shotty roof I broke my leg. I’m suing.”

“I sat on a hot bench at a football game. I’m suing.”

These sound ridiculous, I know. But guess what? They’re real. In a sue-happy society, I can see why the “blame game” is easy to play. Some of these cases actually win. Common sense tells us otherwise, but the courts prove us wrong. With a strong enough argument, sure we can blame someone else and make others believe it.

What is it worth to you? Pinning our troubles on others sure does make it easier to sleep at night, am I right? However, is it really helping our future? Are we going to progress if we keep pushing our troubles on others and not own up to them?

Change your perspective, change your future.

In the end, you are in charge of your choices and actions. If you’re not happy with something, you have only yourself to blame.

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Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Until we are at peace with who we are, we will not know peace.

Until we are at peace with who we are, we will not know peace.

One of my guilty pleasures is social media. However, I am not the biggest supporter of Instagram, no deception here, I do get some joy out of Facebook.  Perhaps it is the status updates, or the links people post, sometimes I click-through pictures, but for the most part it is the easiest and most efficient way to keep in touch with friends without having to remember to call them. Sounds lazy, I know. I have never been much of a phone talker, in fact I start to feel restricted and a bit distracted if I am on the phone for longer than 10 minutes.

Facebook status’ are at times amusing, informative, and sadly, too much information. The content we post and share with our friends and family does not only show ourselves, but a way that we are choosing to be perceived. We are in control of our self-image. It perplexes me when I see the way many people are wasting their time, in my opinion. But, to each his own. 

Scrolling down the comments list of a popular photo that has been “shared” many times is always so disappointing. We never seem to agree. Just today I saw a sweet picture of a lovely boy holding a fox, a fox he had rescued from the torment of men that had taped its mouth shut and kicked it repeatedly. Most of the comments were supportive of the boy and encouraging to read, but then one in particular caught my eye. An older woman had commented on the picture stating, “God will be very pleased with you!” Her intention was to show her happiness that the boy had done something not short of amazing, yet people went into an uproar over her comment.

People replied by saying:

“REAL people will be pleased as well.”

“This has nothing to do with God, just a good-hearted kid.”

“God abandoned this fox when those evildoers began hurting him. God has no more regard for the treatment of animals as the man on the moon does.”

“Don’t ruin it with god crap.”

“No one cares about god.”

Wow, just wow. What has this woman done to deserve such scrutiny? She is being encouraging and proud of the boy, she expressed herself in her own way. People have jumped on her for her religious beliefs, but why?

Do they feel satisfied that they belittled her and shamed her?

Do they feel like her comment will be contagious and they’ll start believing in God?

Who are they to say if there is a god or is not a god? Who is anyone to step on another person’s beliefs?

She was not preaching her religious beliefs, she in no way has stepped on anyone’s toes or tried to hurt anyone, and yet this enraged people at the mention of “God.”

Do I believe in God? Am I religious? Will my answers to those questions change the way you feel about me? Does believing in God or not believing in God change our character? Do we need to know someone’s religious preference because we need to judge them? How about sexual orientation? If someone comes out saying that they are homosexual are we going to shun them? Are we going to support them? Will this information change the person’s character?

Who is anyone to put down another person? Whether it is religion, sexual orientation, color of skin, or social class, we have no right to trample anyone else’s rights.

Sometimes people let us down, but as a school of fish we need to keep an eye out for the fisherman’s hook. Those guys just want to reel us in and eat us. We need to help be each other’s eyes, because some of us are still blind.

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