Through the Looking Glass

IMG_0394It seems a bit cliché that I’d have a moment like this on a cold, rainy, dreary morning such as today. Still, I suspect that’s how life operates, isn’t it?

Life, I’ve been sitting here pondering life. With the tragic family news I have received recently, I cannot help but look at life in a different, almost outside perspective. We waste our time worrying about absolutely nothing. When I say nothing, I mean nothing.  In the end, when all is said and done, none of this matters. All that matters is what your loved ones left will remember about you.

They say in the end we will suddenly realize how we’ve wasted our time here, what we wished we would have spent more efforts in; love, family, friends, overall happiness. But we don’t all get that moment of epiphany. We aren’t all as “lucky” to realize that we are in fact dying, everything will come to an end.

A  somber perspective, I know. It’s galling to comprehend what happens when someone leaves us forever; in a physical sense. It is enough to drive us mad.

We endure by thinking:

          “They’re in a better place,”

          “We will meet again,”

          “There’s no more suffering to be had.”

We’re on this earth to cry, we’re here to learn how to continue living  life without them, the people who have been in our lives since the day we were born.

To the end of time, all I have known and will know is that she lived far, we visited her about once a year up until a few years ago.   I have a faint memory of a giant, unapologetically wet kiss on my cheek. I can see the sparkle in her eyes as her smile lit up the room, her cold hands reaching up to our faces, standing on her tippy-toes to reach our cheeks. Ah, she got us, each and every time. Even when my brother tried to run away, she caught him.

I confess, it’s sad, it sincerely is.

I want so badly to know her. It’s too late. I’m not on my death-bed finally having a moment of realization of how I should have spent my life. She is. Yet here I am, seeing it all too clearly. Maybe I am fortunate to have this perspective on life before it’s too late.

It’s not about what I should have done while I had the chance, it’s about what I can do while I still have the chance.

We still have the chance, what are we waiting for?! Why do they always say it’s in our last moments, when it seems to smack us in the heart when it is someone else’s final moment?

I’ll never fully make sense of it, but what I do understand is that the only consideration that matters is getting to know your loved ones. Getting the chance to do them the great honor of living on through your memories and stories. and per chance, you shall live on through theirs. Allow them to have their stories and memories of yourself. They’ll need the memories just as much as you need to be remembered.

Our nature is to love. Our souls are bound together. Our energy illuminates the night sky, brighter than the stars. We glow together in a well-balanced universe.