Relationships, love, and the cynical perspective of an optimist.


“This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he’d never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie ‘The Graduate’. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent’s marriage she’d only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.” intro to 500 Days of Summer

“The Notebook” and “Sleepless in Seattle” show us that love will conquer all. Love is the driving force behind our existence and where there is love, there is heartbreak and ties to all loose ends.

Our reality proves to us that this is in fact not true. “Loving someone does not make them love you,” -as said by Jack Johnson in his song Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

I say that I am an optimist because I believe we all have a fair chance of finding love, however the cynic in me knows that people will confuse the fervor of lust for love. Thus, love will fade into a deep, dark, vortex of shame and dishonor.

Love is not as exciting as it is portrayed  in the cinemas. Love takes work, compromise, and a lot of patience. Let’s face it, in our world we can shop online, take classes from home, and share our thoughts at the click of a button. Instant gratification! With impulsive decisions at our fingertips, we’ve lost something as a society; patience.

A world without patience is a world without love, just as a relationship without patience is a relationship without love.

I don’t buy into “soulmates” or people being “meant for each other”. I do believe that people are capable of loving, monogamous relationships, however these are more on the rare side now-a-days.

In contradiction to being a cynic of love, I am in a loving relationship. I wouldn’t trade it for the world! But this didn’t happen overnight. We didn’t look into each other’s eyes and just know, there was no music, the stars weren’t shining brighter than ever that night, and the world didn’t stop spinning. Maybe some people describe the moment they fell in love like this, but I just can’t. Love is a sneaky little critter, it likes to come up and bite you before you can jump away.

How many ways are there to love somebody?

Is love like lightning, it never strikes the same place twice?

Will I ever move on from the loss of love?

There are so many types of love! Love for our family, friends, pets, environment, world, hobbies, food, etc.

Is a person capable of falling in love more than once? Absolutely. The feeling of love might be different, I don’t believe we can love the same way twice, but I do believe we can love more than once.

Losing love doesn’t mean your life is over, I recommend that you watch 500 Days of Summer. Great film! I relate to it on so many levels. Maybe I’m not as much of a cynic of love as I had originally thought, perhaps I’m just a girl who has had her heart shattered into a million pieces and emerged a stronger person from the rubble.

I don’t know, maybe.


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