A few years ago I was faced with the harsh reality about life; mortality is real and we never know when our time is up nor the people around us. It seemed so unreal that someone so young could be taken from us without any warning.
I struggled believing that it had happened, that she was really gone, and that her family will never see her again; if only in their dreams. There was a phase that I questioned her existence, was she real? Had we really spoken? Was her smile really as bright as it is in my memory?
Finally, I hit the point of acceptance. This is in fact true, she was here one minute, gone the next. So many questions! How? Why? What can I do? How can this be? Years later, I still wonder. I can’t quite grasp the concept.
I started viewing life in the most depressing way; “Life is like a full parking lot, you pull out of your spot and there is always someone waiting, waiting to swoop in and take it. When you pull away it’s as though you were never there.”
Not before long I started living life as though I only had today. “I want to go to Hawaii.” Woo hoo! Booked a trip for a week later.
This way of living has been fun, but my point of view has yet again changed, “If I keep living like there’s no tomorrow, I won’t have anything saved for my days after tomorrow.”
From what I have found, there is an equal balance that we can all enjoy. We do need to understand that our time here on Earth is short and it is up to us whether it will be sweet. We need to spend our time with the ones we love most doing what we love the most. Even though tomorrow isn’t promised today, it may still come. In fact, for most of us it will come. We do need to look past tomorrow and save for our future.
A few things I have graciously been taught by the loss:
- Smile. Smile as often as possible. My flashbacks of her are always so bright because she smiled all the time.
- Love. Her love radiated and there was always a glow around her.
- Laugh. Laughter does wonders for the soul.
- Live life goofy. Never be afraid that someone else will think your dance moves are dorky, that your jokes are corny, or that being silly is childish.
- Preserve your youth. Working with children has given me the advantage to this, I get to experience jokes, places, and games as though they are new to me. Never say, “Oh, I’ve heard that joke before,” to a child. Try smiling and laughing, throw another joke their way. This will allow you to quickly relive your childhood.
- Never, ever, ever, ever allow a Negative Nancy to bring you down. There’s something that bothers them, it’s your happiness. Stay clear of these people.
I never had the chance to get to know her beyond our circumstances, and I deeply regret this. I have missed out on a wonderful person. Those that knew her well consider themselves lucky, and I agree.
Don’t let time come between yourself and a potential friend. Take control of time, don’t let it control you.