You’re your own worst enemy

“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill


I am in no way a “people-pleaser.” I can’t stay quiet and accept ignorance when I hear it, I stand up for those that cannot stand up for themselves, and stand up for myself.

Though, I haven’t always been this way. There was a lull point in my life; I settled for silence just to keep peace. High-school was a time in my life when all I wanted was to fit in. I didn’t want anyone to notice me and I didn’t want to do anything that would call attention to myself. When my “friends” called out slurs to a lower grader walking by in his Halloween costume, (he dressed as a woman), I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t like what my “friends” were saying, I didn’t like the violence or malice in their words, and I couldn’t stand the tone of their voices. I remember the heckling, the cat-calls, and the hyena-like laughter. I remember my thoughts, my silence, and my sadness for the boy.Looking back, I don’t see a group of people, I see a group of coyotes howling and trying to catch their next meal.

What did I do? Nothing.

What does silence do? Nothing.

This was over 9 years ago and I still think about that night. Though, I have no association with this group of people anymore, we strategically drifted apart. I say strategically because after that night I saw how awful they truly were, and how disappointed in myself I was for associating with people of this frame of mind; I passively started ignoring their phone calls, I was always “too busy” to hang out, and finally the calls stopped coming in. My phone went silent and I could breathe again. I guess silence isn’t always the worst sound.

That was the last time I would allow myself to willfully be around ignorant people, though at that point in my life I hadn’t known the signs to look for, yet. I was naïve and a good kid in general, I thought being “cool” meant having the most friends.

From that day forward I vowed to myself that no one is worth my silence. To hell with being cool if this is what it entailed! There is nothing cool about being a mean-spirited person, or even being around them! If someone says something I don’t agree with, I will let them know. Through this pledge I have lost many “friends” and a lot of respect for people. I have had many debates and my phone has gone silent, which in some cases is a bit sad. We can’t agree, we can’t be friends?

Over the years I have upset people by disagreeing and have had my mind boggled by their defenses.

Although I am not a “people-pleaser,” I am a “me-pleaser.” I never kick myself anymore; I always stick up for what I believe is right; and I never let the helpless soul get pushed around.

Some people may not like it; but who needs them, anyways? 

I know this will never make up for my lack of strength that Halloween night over 9 years ago, but it’s a start.

I hope we can all make the right enemies in our lives.

We regret the actions we didn’t take as much as we regret the mistakes we did make.


Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s